|
SYMPTOM
|
FAULT
|
ACTION
|
|
Feet cold and wet
|
Glass being held at incorrect angle.
|
Rotate glass so that open end points toward ceiling.
|
|
Feet warm and wet.
|
Improper bladder control.
|
Stand next to nearest dog, complain about house training.
|
|
Drink unusually pale and tasteless.
|
Glass empty.
|
Get someone to buy you another drink.
|
|
Opposite wall covered with fluorescent lights.
|
You have fallen over backward.
|
Have yourself tied to bar.
|
|
Mouth contains cigarette butts.
|
You have fallen forward.
|
See above.
|
|
Alcohol tasteless, front of your shirt is wet.
|
You are looking through bottom of empty glass.
|
Get someone to buy you another drink.
|
|
Floor blurred.
|
You are being carried out.
|
Find out if you are being taken to another bar.
|
|
Room seems unusually dark.
|
Bar has closed.
|
Confirm home address with bartender.
|
|
Taxi suddenly takes on colourful aspect and textures.
|
Alcohol consumption has exceeded personal limitations.
|
Cover mouth.
|
|
Everyone looks up to you and smiles.
|
You are dancing on the table.
|
Fall on somebody cushy-looking.
|
|
Drink is crystal-clear.
|
It's water. Somebody is trying to sober you up.
|
Punch him.
|
|
Hands hurt, nose hurts, mind unusually clear.
|
You have been in a fight.
|
Apologize to everyone you see, just in case it was them.
|
|
Don't recognise anyone, don't recognise the room you're in.
|
You've wandered into the wrong party.
|
See if they have free alcohol.
|
|
Your singing sounds distorted.
|
The drink is too weak.
|
Have more alcohol until your voice improves.
|
|
Don't remember the words to the song.
|
Drink is just right.
|
Play air guitar.
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
